In Windows, His Stains
by Cedar
Summary: Those close to Harry believe that although he represents the side of light, he carries a violent darkness within


In Windows, His Stains

_Remus Lupin, October 1994 (in a sestina)_

Sirius, to me, is clear as glass  
and today his face carried darkness.  
His eyes didn't shine  
and the turn of his lips revealed  
that his thoughts lacked light  
and he was tormented within.

Sirius said, "It's this feeling within,  
like I'm watching Harry through glass  
and it's shielding his light.  
He's got this... a darkness  
that James never revealed.  
He just doesn't...shine."

I knew what Sirius meant by "shine."  
James always had a sparkle within  
that revealed  
a heart as breakable as glass.  
But Harry harbors darkness  
as though Voldemort stole his light.

Harry's distance from light  
frightened Sirius, who wanted Harry to shine,  
to overcome his darkness.  
But Sirius and I both knew within  
of Harry's evil, sharp as glass,  
that in time would be revealed.

In our long nights together Sirius revealed  
he wasn't sure if Harry would choose the light  
or shatter the Order like glass.  
Would Harry take a chance to shine,  
to show us who he was within,  
or succumb to his darkness?

Someday, we knew, Harry would find his darkness  
and his link to Voldemort revealed.  
He would have to find the strength within  
to harness his light  
to fight for us and shine  
or he would splinter like glass.

Harry can be glass, allowing light into his darkness  
but if he cannot shine all will be revealed  
of his malevolence, his extinguished light within.

_Severus Snape, February 1992 (in a rondeau)_

James's face with Lily's eyes,  
the Potter attitude reprised.  
But there was more that I could see,  
Albus knew would come to be:  
In Potter's voice, the Dark Lord's guise.

To his legacy he'll rise:  
Neither can live while the other survives  
I turn back; he is bound to me  
James's face with Lily's eyes

What no one else could realize  
was: fame corrupts and stardom lies  
I drew and stored the memory,  
reliving my own dark history.  
Haunting me with my demise:  
James's face with Lily's eyes

_Hermione Granger, June 1996 (in terza rima)_

I heard about the veil, about the fight,  
how Harry cast the Cruciatus Curse.  
I think he lost a little of his light.

The Cruciatus could never reverse  
his raw emotion, pain and loss untied  
but I don't think he cares, which makes it worse.

I see that Harry's bold but terrified  
and wonder what he'll do in his blind fear.  
He's insecure and shows his darker side.

As long as Harry clings to this veneer  
of thinking that revenge will bring him peace  
I cannot trust his actions. That is clear.

Sometimes I feel his war will never cease.

_Draco Malfoy, March 1998 (in hymn meter)_

My parents dead, I stand in shock  
and watch my world fall.  
As Potter laughs and flicks his wand  
I know I've lost it all.

He kisses me and bites my lip,  
then smiles as I bleed.  
This exacting of revenge  
fulfills his every need.

He snaps my wand and then my legs,  
my fingers bone by bone.  
That Potter's mind would come to this  
I think I've always known.

I still owe him my life. That is  
a debt that's never paid,  
but now he'll take it from me  
cut and tortured, shrieking, flayed.

He'll shatter me from limb to limb  
and smile through his crime.  
Our savior, then a saint, become  
a murderer in time.

The spikes of Potter's iron trap  
are piercing through my skin.  
I watch my final rising sun.  
My time in Hell begins.

_Luna Lovegood, July 1998 (in blank verse)_

I see it  
though he tries  
to hide it.

Harry's done  
something  
wrong

and not just wrong answer in class  
wrong I mean  
really really wrong like

unforgivable  
wrong.

I don't think  
Ron or Hermione or Ginny have  
any clue  
or can even see  
that Harry's scars  
have burned his eyes.  
He's seen death, all right  
and

even caused it.

(his first?)

If I trusted  
anything  
anything at all  
Harry did or said these days I'd  
sit him down  
serve him tea  
and say

D'you want to talk?  
What's troubling you?  
What  
did  
you  
do?

He doesn't think  
I noticed  
that when the old DA  
met for dinner  
and brought up  
Draco Malfoy's disappearance he  
was much

too

quiet.

But I've been

too

afraid

to ask

because  
if he did even half  
of what I think he  
did to Draco

then what would he do to me?

_Sirius Black, June 1995 (in a pantoum)_

A jet of light comes toward me.  
I duck and fire, defending my world.  
Bellatrix takes another shot.  
I have to triumph in this fight.

I duck and fire, defending my world.  
A long time ago, I swore I would protect Harry.  
I have to triumph in this fight  
because if I don't, I fear the future.

A long time ago, I swore I would protect Harry.  
I only keep that promise now  
because if I don't, I fear the future.  
Our side, if not Harry, is worth saving.

I only keep that promise now  
after I swore to Remus I would.  
Our side, if not Harry, is worth saving.  
Perhaps I rushed into battle too quickly.

After I swore to Remus I would  
never betray the Order,  
perhaps I rushed into battle too quickly,  
living only in the moment.

"Never betray the Order," I said  
seventeen, eighteen years ago,  
living only in the moment  
enjoying battle far too much.

Seventeen, eighteen years ago  
I was so sure of everything  
enjoying battle far too much  
believing unquestioningly in the Order.

I was so sure of everything.  
I sat up nights, defended Harry's prophecy  
believing unquestioningly in the Order,  
but now

I sat up nights, defended Harry's prophecy  
never telling anyone my suspicions  
but now  
Fighting this battle, I wonder.

Never telling anyone my suspicions  
except for Remus  
Fighting this battle, I wonder,  
desperate to believe in Harry's purity.

Except for Remus  
I never questioned Dumbledore,  
desperate to believe in Harry's purity  
and that this new war was worth fighting.

I never questioned Dumbledore  
because I felt so free  
and that this new war was worth fighting.  
I run, yell, taunt, and hex.

Because I felt so free...  
Bellatrix takes another shot.  
I run, yell, taunt, and hex.  
A jet of light comes toward me.

_Ron Weasley, May 2000 (in a villanelle)_

Harry doesn't look me in the eye.  
Reluctance to talk isn't his way.  
Of anyone, I'll catch him in a lie.

"Voldemort knew that I  
would kill one day."  
Harry doesn't look me in the eye.

"I killed, just once, and won't deny  
I felt... powerful, taking his life away."  
Of anyone, I'll catch him in a lie

Realization leaves my throat dry.  
"Malfoy," I whisper in dismay.  
Harry doesn't look me in the eye.

Harry, a killer. What for, and why?  
My hands are shaking, my emotions a fray.  
Harry doesn't look me in the eye.  
Of anyone, I'll catch him in a lie.

end


End file.
